Codex - Gold Miscellany

Are your NPC rosters skewing awfully young? Got a dozen Obachans kicking around in your head? Have I got a Miscellany for you! This Miscellany is called “Three Dozen Notable People over 50.” Submissions need to be a single sentence, or 2-3 short sentences. By submitting here, you’re agreeing to let us use it (you’ll get a credit on the issue). We’re looking for evocative things; the purpose of the miscellany is to inspire the reader.

Here are some examples:

“Consuelo hasn’t done much fieldwork since that incident in ‘76, but she’s fluent in six modern and three ancient languages and’s seen just about every kind of monster you’re likely to run into out there. Don’t bother asking her what happened though, the story’s different every time.”

“No one loves a well-written clause like the fae, and when they need a contract drawn up or a loophole closed, they turn to Mel Webb. Webb was human at the start, at least, though aging gracefully may be part of their retainer. They’ve been popping up with the same frost white hair and silver-headed cane for at least fifty years now.”

“Apelu Toleafoa was never top of the card, but he’s been with the promotion since it started and trained half the current roster. It’s damn near criminal it took them this long to put him in charge of developmental.”

P.S. If you want to be credited as something other than the name on your forum profile, let me know! DMs here or on Slack (@ryanm) are fine for that, but please keep submissions in this thread.

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Sister Mary Immaculate is a well-respected mother superior, but her obsession with neatness sometimes rankles the newer sisters. Still sharp as a tack, she rarely discusses life before the convent, refusing to confirm or deny the rumor that she was a silent film starlet before hearing the call of the Lord.

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It is said that the Devil knows more for being old than for being the Devil, and Madam Chapman is living proof of that proverb. The superstitious youngsters even say that’s actually the reason why she’s even still alive! They claim that she gives Old Nick advice on issues of the living.

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Rowan doesn’t pay much attention to the rest of the village; villagers have been coming to their grove for as long as they can remember. Rowan just makes something to eat from the magic herbs in their garden, listens to whatever needs to be said, and sends the weary traveler onward, hopefully a little lighter than they arrived and with a little luck in their stomach.

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Decker Jensen is the last living person to have seen a bird, ya ken. He’s so old his nose has gone a bit beaky on his hairless head, but barter him a box of chocolates and he’ll tell you the tale—though be warned, he wavers randomly between sayin’ he killed the bird and sayin’ the bird saved his damn fool life.

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Not many wrestlers achieve superstardom at age 64, but that’s the year Stan Melkewicz debuted his now-legendary announcer personna Professor Turnbuckle. Drawing on his earliest pre-wrestling days as a busboy at a now-long-defunct Catskills comedy club, the offbeat and decidedly promiscuous octogenarian and ‘leading expert in the physics of wrestling’ proved an instant and enduring fan favorite, earning Stan the fame he never found inside the squared circle.

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Nobody ever baked a cookie better than Tia Catalina’s biscochitos, sweet and crumbly and with that licorice smell that would draw you in from wherever you were playing. We all call her Tia Catalina but she’s not really aunt to anyone we know. The only time I ever saw her angry was the time we all made mud cookies with her cutters. She seemed ancient to me as a child - how old must she be now?

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Lucius was only seen during the day, offering some timely advice to every member of his five generation family. A well kept gentleman appearing no older than sixty, with slight smile and widows peak in his grey hair. No one ever saw Lucius approach, they would hear his gentle steps and suddenly he would be there.

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Maria Segundo lives a quiet life in her apartment. She wakes up, tends to her garden, and never asks questions when people come to see her with mysterious injuries, just sews them up at her table and sends them away with a smile.

Mi Sung Kang stunned the world in her first public appearance, but this octogenarian has broken records, as well as bones, and shows no signs of stopping her domination of the MMA ring with her mastery of several martial arts.

Walter McAlmond is the man to see if you’re looking for the best fit in town. No matter your size, your shape, or your wallet, Walter knows how to work with cloth and will get your shirts and pants feeling like they were born on you. It’s almost as though he knows every edge and curve of your body!

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Peter King is a teacher - English and history, with a passion for poetry and revolutions. He’s one of the good ones, taking care of the kids, offering advice and guidelines and an open ear for anyone. Or at least a limerick, if nothing else helps.
In the holidays, though, he’ll change from his nondescript suits to equally nondescript motorcycle wear, load up on weapons and go monster hunting for fun. None of his students have ever seen the tattoos protecting his skin, or the scar from the times the tattoos weren’t enough.

Rhys is not a young mage anymore. Still, you’d usually think he’s harmless - he loves talking laboriously about magic. Or whisky. Or both - it’s a little hard to tell, really, with his sentences meandering between one topic and the other. Don’t be fooled by this, though. He’s a stone-cold pragmatist willing to make all the hard choices to protect his people, and he throws fireballs or multiple lightning bolts with equal competence.

This is Christine. She is 53 years old, but you don’t see that - with her tanned skin, elegantly blonde hair, smiling brown eyes and impeccable clothing she looks timeless. Christine likes mystery novels, and every time someone talks about zombie apocalypses or other catastophes, she will jokes about eating babies. At they’re wickedly, morbidly funny, her jokes, because who would really eat a baby? Yes, it’s said witches might do that, but who believes in witches, anyway?

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Weff Rolls-With-Sparks lied about their age to join a jumpship crew and get off-world, so the nickname “Kid” has stuck even though (thanks to relativity) they can drink in any bar they want when they burn their way back home and present their original ident card that says they’re over 300 years old.

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Untold millennia later, Parallax still can’t decide if the stupid lab accident that converted them to ‘pure energy’ was a blessing or a curse. As they watch The Terminusians try one last time to rekindle their sad, dying red giant before it collapses and leaves the entire Universe dark, they are surprised to find themselves actually speculating: wondering if even this will be enough to finally end them.

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Miss Florence appears distant, perhaps confused at first when greeted by visitors but smiles easily and squints as if deciding which shape they really are. Those who come to her with their troubles may be put off by her abrupt laughter and proclamations that they’ve “made a real mess” or “won’t ever find it now” - as if their quest and the very fate of the world were a spilled cup of tea or a lost thimble - but those who stay and listen well may find prophecy in her musings before she shoos them out the door with a vague “see you next time around”.

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Grandma Sprinkles is the face of Pentrex Consolidated Inc’s food production unit, mostly specializing in snack cakes and other confections. Her face is emblazoned on every packing product, a sweet plump old grandmother that you swear you remember from your youth at some point. Rarely she makes public appearances for Special VIP tours of the factory, and it’s amazing how the actor playing her always looks exactly like the brand image!

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Sun Xi has lived his whole life in the bustling metropolis, and is well known for being an impeccably dressed and attentive patron of the arts. His home is a micellany of those who have benefited from his patronage, and if you attend one of his parties and offer a fitting tribute to his walls (a famed painting, a rare recording, even a performance) he might reward you with a peek into his treasury.

James Duncan has lived through more wars and trenches than he can count. Missing three fingers, one ear, and an eye, Jamie is as grizzled as they come. Don’t let that stop you from seeking out his wisdom, as he has remained good friends with all his wartime pals, even after they’ve left the land of the living.

While well known as Dame Geordie, an iconique one hit punk rock wonder from some years back, the real Georgette Blomgren is a kickin’ retiree with a green thumb many consider a wonder of the gardening world. Don’t forget to read the signs in her garden carefully, as an unfortunate typo has led to more than one deceased fan.

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You’ll find Neal drinking coffee with a few other old boys at the local cafe. Calloused and a little bit stooped from years of manual labor, he spends his time complaining about politicians, taxes, and what the young people are getting up to these days. He’s often mistrustful of outsiders, but his passion for birding leads to a surprisingly wide array of contacts.

As their name tag suggests, Faze staffs the Reference Desk at the Occluded Library. Respectful patrons who speak quietly and listen patiently will benefit from Faze’s insightful (if laconic) commentary on almost any topic. Despite their small stature and advanced age, Faze will not hesitate to defend the Rules of the Library from would-be book thieves, loud talkers, and other miscreants.

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At 17 and 8 months, Optipuss spends about 20 hours a day asleep. He doesn’t go on missions any more, but even with the cataracts coming in and the renal support kibble, he’s more than capable of handling any nefarious moron who thinks that just because Optimax is off saving the Universe or whatever that the Optiplex is just up for grabs.

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He is old enough that if he ever had a name, it is long forgotten, but rumors persist that he was once the greatest assassin ever and led an extraordinarily lethal collective of killers for hire. And while most of the young people who went to him seeking training in deadly arts came back scoffing at the idea that he was ever anything but a doddering old fool prone to over-watering plants and collecting stray kittens, he invited a few inside his home and they were never seen again. They couldn’t all have run away; who knows what became of them?

Graysister Jez may not have been the best mechanic anyone had ever seen at the monastery commonly known as The Garage, but she was more than good enough to keep the Wasteland Riders’ choppers in good condition (those monks were not known for their repair skills). Anyone who criticized her usually wound up with a mouthful of broken teeth, because she wrapped her fists in broken lengths of motorcycle chain and didn’t pull punches.

Alby was the camp cook, always tending a stewpot hanging over the fire. Somehow, no matter what ingredients the scavengers had managed to find, the stew tasted the same.

Erys wasn’t quite a chirurgeon or a wardoc, but had been doing this so long that stopping the bleeding was second nature and was always a welcome hand when you were tracking down apostos and herets with access to kinweps. The enweps cauterized as they burned through you so they either killed you instantly or left you in fighting shape, but the kinweps took you out of commission and could kill you fast if they nicked something vital. And if Erys needed to work on you, there usually wasn’t time for niceties like anes or lido - it was gonna hurt.

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Dan is an octogenarian who plays video games on YouTube. He also has several blogs about life hacks, politics and other things. What people don’t know: Dan is a first generation hacker, and he’s never let up. He knows the internet inside and out, and he needs to: He’s approaching ninety, and his body won’t make it much longer. So he needs to upload his conciousness, because there is absolutely no alternative. And he’s making progress: If you look at the web of connections between websites, they resemble the neural structures of Dan’s brain. Only lately, he has begun to suspect that he is not the only one doing this …

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Grandma swears humans built the rust pilgrim, though its metal body looks nothing like ours. Most everyone that’s met Ol’ Red agrees, see, 'cause it acts like us… or rather how we wish we were: kind to the downtrodden, defender of the oppressed, the last wholly good person left in the wastes.

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