Seeking Feedback: PBTA game set in a ancient civilization on the brink of collapse

Hey everyone. I’ve had a game design that I’ve been working on. I’ve been able to run it for several different groups and refine it. I’m happy with how it’s played out in practice, and all of those mini-campaigns have led me to polish it up significantly. Now I am at the point of “what next?” Where do I want to see this game go from here? That’s why I’m reaching out from my typical online communities for some feedback here.

From the first couple of paragraphs:

*Promised Land is an adaptation of the Apocalypse World rules. The setting draws inspiration from books of scripture such as the Old and New Testaments and The Book of Mormon. The genre may be described as Historical Supernatural Military Political Intrigue. *

What type of Game will I be playing?
Promised Land is a game about an ancient civilization. This Kingdom has already hit its peak and is now in decline… and the collapse of this people is on the horizon.

Promised Land places the player characters in a world of conflict: political turmoil, warfare, the desertion of religion, and the machinations of secret organizations. No matter how many enemies one might have within the city, there will always be armies at the gate. This constant threat from other tribes, cities, or peoples keeps the player characters together - at least initially.

The stories told while playing Promised Land are ultimately about fulfilling responsibility and finding meaning in life in the face of constant opposition.

Some of the things I’m really proud with are the Oath system built into the rules, the focus on developing Crises that that the city/civilization is facing and how smoothly that comes out of the setting/character creation process, and how frequently I’ve gotten the feedback that players thought they would be turned off by the setting inspiration prior to playing and how that was not the case.

I’m really open to any suggestions or feedback on what could be improved on in the rules and how the premise is presented, as well as feedback on what my next steps is sharing/developing Promised Land could be.

Here is a link to the rules: Promised Land rules

Thank you all!


Do you know about Thou Art But A Warrior and Polaris before that?

I do not. Thank you for the recommendation! Do you have any thoughts on those games?

They are tragedies - mechanically, as the heroes play, they deplete their Zeal for their kingdom and way of life.

At a certain point their Zeal triggers events in the game world. You’re fighting for something but it’s slipping through your fingers.

In Polaris, you are ice elves watching your kingdom melt away in the face of heat and demons.

In Thou Art but a Warrior you’re Muslim knights trying to save the historical caliphate that existed in Spain.